Ravenna and Personal Space

This past Saturday, some friends in my program and I were planning to go to a coastal town called Rimini. However, our plans changed when we heard about a pre-organized trip to another nearby coastal town called Ravenna. We went with an erasmus organization (erasmus is the European foreign exchange program, but anyone from overseas can join it), and we paid only 15 euros for them to bus us to and from Ravenna, spend the day on the beach, and the evening at a bar that functioned as a club at night. We met a bunch of other Erasmus students (from Belgium, Germany, Sweden, Poland, Spain, etc.), and the day on the beach was beautiful and it was fun to get our groove on at night!

(random guy), Maia, Allison, and me during Happy Hour at the beach.

Whenever we Americans/Californians start dancing, we basically put a target on our foreheads that say "American." And here, "American" is almost synonymous with "Hey, I can't drink in the U.S. yet, so I'm probably pretty drunk, and I'm not used to getting attention from ALL the guys, so I'm probably pretty easy, too." When that is paired with Italian men who take a firm "No." as a "Oh hey, keep trying!" things get interesting (and not really in a good way). I think part of it is the Italian men just want to see how far we let them go--it's a game to them. And then they're also showing off for their buddies (so when you refuse them, they have to look cool and keep trying, or just call you stupid for not being attracted to a 30-something, ugly guy). The thing I find very interesting is that my apartment-mate, Elena, told me that Italian girls/women rarely experience this because the Italian men would get nowhere with them. The women here don't tolerate it at ALL, and so the men usually don't try. So when the naive, foreign kids come along, life gets more interesting.

This all ties into a cultural difference I've noticed here: the amount of personal space. There are two types of personal space, I now realize: physical and visual. Both are invaded here compared to in the U.S. Since everything here is smaller and closer together but with a lot of people, your physical personal space bubble extends only to where the air meets your skin. On the bus, standing in line, walking on the street, moving through a crowd, etc. are all contact activities and the most striking part that I had to learn is that people rarely say "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" either before, during, or after they touch/hit you. At first, I was taken aback and was thinking "gosh, people are kind of rude here...." But then I realized that the cultural value and concept of personal space is different, and that in the U.S. people are sometimes overly polite and sensitive about it. The same goes for on the road with cars: what would almost be an "accident" and involve much honking and stress in the U.S. is a normal "I need to pull out halfway into the road to see around the illegally parked car before I turn into the street." Most driving rules are suggestions. The confusing part is Italians seem to instinctively know when it's appropriate to break a certain rule and when it's completely inappropriate.

The second invasion of personal space is the visual bubble. In the U.S., it's considered very impolite to stare at someone. Definitely not the case here. Men check out women (in very obvious ways, which sometimes includes a "Ciao bella") and women check out women (and then judge their outfit). Everyone dresses up much more here (including the men). Fashion and looking put-together is very important and you feel judged negatively if you don't put in some effort. This might be a slight problem for me in the winter on days that I just want to wear my sweatshirt and comfy jeans.... Then again, I'm American and it's obvious already (even before I open my mouth to speak), so some days I just won't care!

Allison and I on the roof of Elio and Anna's apartment before dinner with them last Thursday. It was a gorgeous 360-degree view of the city!

The first rain on Sunday! It was refreshing, and fortunately I was planning to stay home that day anyway :)

Some porticos and apartments on the walk back to my house.

Tomorrow, I'm planning to pick up the bike I bought from an American girl who was here last year. I'm excited to be able to use it! It will save me bus money and walking time. I've been trying to watch other bikers to see what the dynamic between cars, bikes, and vespas is on the road. Hopefully I'll learn quickly...!